LISTEN

                                            When I ask that you listen to me
                                                    and you start giving advice,
                                                    you have not done what I asked.

                                            When I ask you to listen to me
                                                    and you begin to tell me why I shouldn't feel that way,
                                                    you are trampling on my feelings.

                                            When I ask you to listen to me
                                                    and you feel you have to do something to solve my problem,
                                                    you have failed me, strange as that may seem.

                                            Listen!  All I asked was that you listen,
                                                    not to talk or do - just hear me.

                                            Advice is cheap:  fifty cents will get you both Dear Abby and
                                                    Billy Graham in the same newspaper.

                                            And I can do for myself; I'm not helpless.
                                                    Maybe discouraged and faltering, but not helpless.

                                            When you do something for me that I can and need to do
                                                    for myself, you contribute to my fear and weakness.

                                        But, when you accept as a simple fact that I do feel what I feel,
                                                    no matter how irrational, then I can quit trying to convince
                                                    you and get about the business of understanding what's
                                                    behind this irrational feeling.
                                                    And when that's clear, the answers are obvious and I
                                                    don't need advice.

                                        Irrational feelings make sense when we understand what's
                                                    behind them.

                                       So, please listen and just hear me.  And, if you want to talk,
                                                    wait a minute for your turn; and I'll listen to you.

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